Milestones are arbitrary

I know, like everyone else, I’ve likely spent a good portion of my life being compared to. I have compared my life to others in the past. I try not to do so now, since well, I know better. It happens even though I try to not let it happen. But guess what, I am working on that trait.

I know I have people who think they are better than me. After all, they got married before I did. They hold multiple post graduate degrees while I hold just a bachelor’s. They make more money than I do. They have owned multiple homes whereas I still rent an apartment. They can afford to take off whenever they want to while the other half and I have to watch our spending a little more closely.

But I am happy where I am right now. I don’t know if those who have been racing to have these things I don’t have can say they are.

There are people who reach certain milestones in their lives before others, like getting married or making more money than the generation before them or buying a house. There are other who never reach certain milestones and have no plans to do so.

But want to know something? Those milestones are arbitrary! That American dream of a white picket fence and a house, that’s just someone’s ideal that turned into a fantasy for everyone. It doesn’t have to be one’s ideal of success. Or even if it is, it doesn’t have to happen right away.

I used to work in education, but I was stuck without advancing further in my schooling. To advance further would have meant debt, which I was not comfortable taking on. So I stayed where I was until it was no longer where I wanted to be. I could have gone further. I could have taken on the debt and dealt with the stresses. But I decided for myself that it was something I could live without.

I work in a customer service job now. It suits me. I can deal with people but I also don’t have to be in charge aside from one day a week for a few hours. It gives me the money to live comfortably, as long as I stay within my means. It also allows me time to let my mind wander on occasion as I do some manual labor, coming up with scenarios and dialogue for my stories and subjects for this blog. At present, the job suits me.

I could work a job making more money. I have had well-meaning friends and family tell me that I have the skills to do so much more with my life than I am. But even if I could, I just don’t want to right now. I like what I do interacting with the people I interact with. I like the freedoms I have. I like having the ability to spend my free time writing when I want to and still have a job to do.

Besides, like I said, milestones are soooo arbitrary:

A little message out there to all of you in my boat

Sure, I am not the famous writer I thought I was going to be when I was a senior in high school. But I AM writing. I AM getting read by people. I AM exactly where I need to be. And I am happy with where I am and who I am today. I have learned to love myself despite not owning a home yet or being famous. Because, in the grand scheme of things, that is what matters. I AM doing what I want to do and still dreaming big lofty dreams.

“This is your life…. Are you who you want to be? This is your life….Is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?”

Switchfoot “This Is Your Life”

So, my dear readers, are you who you want to be? Or are you setting high arbitrary milestones you will never reach? Like Anna Przy states in the video she posted that I shared…. There is no wrong way to travel through your life. After all, life is a journey, not a race or a competition. There is no grand prize at the finish line, just death and whatever afterlife you believe in.

There is no one better than you at being yourself.

So continue to write your own stories, friends. Find the magic in each moment. Find your own kind of happy. Make it what you want to dream it to be.

I know I am.


If you liked this blog post and wanted to see some of the fantasy works I have written, check out my Portals Series.

If you are interested in my other online endeavors, check out the drop down menu to see more.

And as always, #writeyourownstory

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