Grief comes like a thief

It has taken me days to get words to paper, as it should.

This past Saturday night, after saying good bye to one of my besties who had spent the day with us, the other half and I decided to call his dad and stepmother to check in on them. Today, I am grateful I had insisted we do that, for it was the last time we would ever speak to his stepmother.

Shirley was a week shy of her ninetieth birthday, a moment we were looking forward to celebrating with her as we always did. We were planning an exuberant and off-key rendition of “Happy Birthday” along with our usual card since she lived over in the bay area of the Golden State. We rarely saw them face-to-face, but we talked often.

But then, she ALWAYS reciprocated too. I have listened to a voicemail of her singing me Happy Birthday one year over and over again in the past few days. I plan on keeping it saved to my voicemail, no matter what.

Due to circumstances, I considered Shirley MY mother-in-law. In fact, she treated me like her daughter instead of the wife of her stepson and she accepted both the other half and myself as her own from the moment she met us. She showered both of us with love and words of wisdom. She sent us silly texts of her beloved cat and enjoyed reading the things I sent her. And she left us with plenty of memories to chuckle at.

Which is why it came as a shock to get a phone call from my father-in-law on Sunday afternoon telling us she had died in her sleep.

Grief lays dormant sometimes, as it did the past two days. I was able to compartmentalize it for the most part, going to work and even standing in line at the polling place last night without giving too much thought to my sadness. But today, the floodgates opened and I had to leave work early. Those who know me know that I detest leaving work for any reason unless I have to, but today…. That grief that was dormant snuck up on me, wiping away anything but it as it deluged about me. It was unexpected.

It came like a thief to suck away any of my magic.

But some good has come of it. I spent some time in quiet contemplation. I am spending time just taking care of myself, letting the emotion wash over me today. I napped for quite a bit, snuggling with the former feral-turned-lovebug of a feline who just recently discovered our bed is a beautiful place to snooze. And like the other half, I am taking it one day at a time, waiting to see what needs to be done and trying my best to live in a world where the light and magic that is Shirley will live on just in mere memories and stories.

Perhaps grief can’t steal everything away from us. There is still love and light, hope and magic, joy and peace in the moments that glimmer. There are those moments that remind us that despite the pain, we still have to put one foot in front of the other. We have to keep going, keep doing, keep being that person that was part of the story, even if we are a little bit changed by the ending.

Though Shirley’s story is completed now, it was a grand story. One day, perhaps, it will be shared with the world. But little bits of her will probably end up in my stories, just as little bits of others inspire the characters I write. And that is just a small part of the legacy that is Shirley, just as one day, when the final chapters of my story are written, they will just be a small legacy of mine.

Stay magical, dear friends.

Write your own story.

---

If you liked this blog post, comment below! Share with others, if you dare. Subscribe to my blog for updates! Visit my “About me” page if you want to contact me.

If you wanted to see some of the fantasy books I have written, check out my Portals Series. My serial novel is available for free on this blog here.

If you are interested in my other online endeavors, check out the drop down menu to see more.

And as always, #writeyourownstory