Weddings and Funerals

I was recently at a wedding for one of the other half’s oldest friends, whom we call his sister even though they are not blood related. It was a wedding to which we traveled almost four hundred miles over the course of a day. Many of the old friends had gathered for this wedding, bringing significant others their friends may or may not have met. They greeted each other with smiles, with hugs and kisses, with handshakes. Pleasantries were exchanged and conversations picked up almost where they left off.

The significant other of one of the friends made the comment that people seem to gather in that kind of manner for just two occasions, weddings and funerals. The consensus was that they were glad that this occasion was a wedding rather than a funeral.

But of course, the comment got me to musing. I thought of another wedding, one from a book I’ve read over and over again. A book in which this quote stuck out to me as I listened to the banter of old friends at this wedding.

“If everyone stayed where he was born, places would soon be filled up, Mrs. Lynde.”

~ Anne Shirley, quoted from chapter three of Anne’s House of Dreams by L. M. Montgomery

Indeed, we spread so far apart that only certain gatherings have the pull to bring us back together again. While milestone birthdays, holiday celebrations, graduations, or high school reunions can bring people together sometimes, it’s often either a wedding or a funeral that cast a wide enough net that those we have not seen for years are suddenly drawn together.

During weddings, we get together to welcome a joining of two lives together. We celebrate a new person entering the family, whether it’s a family of blood or by choice. We catch up with those we may have not seen for months, years, or even decades. There is laughter and love and a hope for a better future, both for the couple and for ourselves.

Funerals celebrate lives lost. We mourn with those who also mourn, reminiscing about things we can no longer change. We lament times were cut short. perhaps our last words were in anger, or we were indifferent. The finiteness is demonstrated. But there is also a chance to weep with those we have not seen in ages. There is a chance to connect with those we may have lost contact with. there is hope that, perhaps this time, we will stay in touch better.

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A post shared by Kelley Wood Davis (K.S. Wood) (@kelitawd)

In the past few years, I have been a part of both kinds of gatherings. Sometimes, I wish I could be a part of more celebrations with some of my family (both kin and kith) than just a wedding or a funeral, but finances and the simple call of the daily grind of life keep us apart. Both are equally part of the story of our lives. They fill some of the chapters we write, though sometimes, one event is more prominently featured than another in that particular chapter. But like all celebrations, they allow us to gather and share in love, in joy, in hope, in peace and even a little magic.

Stay magical, friends.

Write your own story.

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