Where do we go? Oh? When our prayers are answered…. Where do we go? Oh? When our prayers are answered but the answer is no?~ Lindsay Sterling with Carah Faye “Where Do We Go?”
This song has been haunting me now for a few days. Actually, more like a full week. It’s a song that has an upbeat melody, yet the words seem so…. bittersweet.
Today marks Ash Wednesday. It’s the start of Lent for many of the Christian faith.
Lent is solemn. Lent is liturgical. Lent is reflective. Lent has discipline. Lent is a bittersweet ceremony that culminates in mourning.
Now, if you aren’t Christian, I’ve likely turned you off already to this blog post. I am sorry. My intent in writing these posts is to explore myself in an exposed setting…. to write what musings I have in my head and hone my craft as I hone my stories. And since today starts Lent…. it’s what is on my mind. It’s what I write about.
Having a mother with Catholic roots, I tend to go back to those roots during Lent. I give up stuff, much like Catholics do starting today. I try to give up some bad habit of mine or a habit I don’t like. Usually it’s sweets, which one year meant that by the end of the Lenten season I couldn’t stand eating candy anymore because I had given it up for so long. And while Sundays count as cheat days in my denomination, which does celebrate… I try not to partake anyway since well, I want to break myself of my sweet tooth. I want to eat better, since I have been slacking. So today start’s that journey for me. I hope this year I can keep it up.
I haven’t given up much the past two years…. but that was because the world gave up so much because of the pandemic that I needed to hold on to what I had.
Lent, just like my faith journey, is a personal matter to me. I give up stuff, but I don’t make others do the same. Just like I don’t push others to change unless they want to.
If you are Christian and reading this, I am not intending to get into philosophical discussions. I am a lay person who just has a great deal of time to think about my own personal journeys. In the end, the only being I want to be judging me for it is one in Heaven.
I have never been comfortable talking to others about my faith journey. I have been burned in the past by both believers and non-believers because of my beliefs. So I remain quiet. I try to live the life I am meant to live, try to show my faith in my work. I admire writers like Madeleine L’Engle, J. R. R. Tolkien, C. S. Lewis and others who combine their faith with their fantasy writing, though I have not done so myself. Or have I?
Anyway, I am running a tangent. Back to the song lyrics.
Lent is a time for reflecting and prayers. But where do we go when the answer is no? Where do we go when we are broken? Where do we go when we are seeking things and can’t find the answer?
Despite having time to think about this…. I don’t have the answers. At least not ones that can be put together with words.
I’ve spent a great deal of time the past month reflecting on my faith as it is. You see, the little church I attend here in my chosen town is going through a bit of turmoil right now. I won’t get into specifics, since I do love the people involved, but I know some are asking these very questions right now. It seems fortuitous that this little turmoil is happening right before Lent, when people reflect and pray, follow liturgy and take up solemnity. I myself have been doing a great deal of praying, of connecting with some I haven’t chatted with in awhile (since the hubby and I have been doing online church for almost two years now), and I am hoping that others are too. I hope others find their faith journeys, whether it keeps them here or takes them elsewhere.
And no matter what you believe in, I hope you continue to stay magical and write your own story. I know I am.
If you liked this blog post and wanted to see some of the fantasy works I have written, check out my Portals Series.
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And as always, #writeyourownstory