I have always loved music.
I have loved to sing. When I was little, I would sing at the top of my lungs and often made up my own songs. I have sung in multiple choirs, often as a soprano and second soprano. Until the pandemic, I sang in my church choir. But I have given it up for the time being since I am only attending church online right now. I still sing often at home. My dear husband can attest that sometimes I just belt out a tune. And while we attend church online, I still sing along with the songs I know.
But I enjoy listening to music as well. I always have enjoyed the flow of lyrics and how they draw me in. I enjoy the way the tune evokes feelings or causes my imagination to flow. I enjoy the way the beat of a song makes me want to get up and dance or sit and reflect.
Just the other day, I wrote in my journal while listening to music via earbuds on my lunch break at work. I was supposed to be doing edits on my latest novella, but my mind sometimes does need a break. So I was just letting words flow as I listened to some of Lindsay Sterling’s instrumental songs. I often write in cursive, since I love the way the words just flow together. The combination of the writing and music made me think of a dance, for the words seemed to take form as the streamed tune ebbed and flowed in my ears. Since work was crazy that day, I needed that quiet time just to be mindful, to calm my mind and let my spirit just be.
Music just seems to nourish a part of my soul that can’t be touched by any other thing on the planet.
Lately, I’ve been listening to all kinds of music too, depending on my mood or what I am doing. When cleaning the house, I listen to the music of my teenage years and young adulthood, streaming it from our smart device as loudly as I can without disturbing my neighbors. When I am working on research online, I usually stream something instrumental to help me concentrate. When writing, it depends on what I am writing. A battle scene calls for some song that evokes feelings of strength or a fast paced song, while a sad ballad needs to be heard when writing a death scene (and yes, I have recently done a few of those!)
My music listening though had always seemed to be a private thing, however. When I was a child, I was often teased for what I liked to listen to, and as a result, I kind of keep my favorite artists and songs on the down low since I am afraid someone will still tell me what I like is “dumb” or “terrible.” As a teenager and young adult, I closed myself off in my bedroom to listen to my tunes, trying to keep it down since others didn’t like what I listened to. While riding in cars with friends, I never mentioned if I hated certain songs, since well, I didn’t want to be teased about it, so I listened to everything they wanted to listen to.
I still get into the mindset that I don’t want to bother others with my music listening, even my own husband, which is why I often use one of my pairs of headphones or earbuds to do so. If I am listening to music with speakers when the hubby is out, I am often turning it off as soon as he gets home. And of course, I keep the volume down as to not disturb the neighbors.
I am starting to let others into the world of what I love to listen to though, just as I am letting other see the inner workings of my mind via these writings.
And of course, I love to dance. At home, it can get quite wild, especially if I have my wireless headphones on. I move and sway to the music, not caring who sees me, since, well, often I listen to music in private so there’s no one about except maybe the hubby. At work too, I often dance, albeit a bit more self-consciously because, well, I am still learning not to care what others may think of me.
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And as always, #writeyourownstory