New year, same old messy life

If the past few months have taught me anything, it is this: LIFE, even with the best intentions and plans, IS MESSY.

Like the Christmas hymn reminds us…. the weary world is in sin and error pining for something better, something more. It seems no matter where one looks these days, there is hatred and injustice. There are atrocities we cannot understand and questions that will never be answered. There are things that others do that make us wonder what the #$@% is going on.

As I sit in my office in the tiny abode, watching a snow squall outside, I wonder too if there is something better. Life lately has felt messier than it should be. Tragedy has struck, rocking the nation I live in yet again with tales of terror. But even my own life seem messy. A relationship I had counted on ended almost as abruptly a few weeks ago as it began three years before. Another relationship feels severed because of pettiness and selfishness and rivalry. I feel as though I have little motivation to even try to repair either of them at this moment, though I speak of bridging the gaps and reaching out to help others. And it is almost as frustrating to me as the world’s messes that I can’t fix these.

Too often, we get frustrated, thinking there is nothing that we can do. But in the messes that we find, there are miracles. In the imperfections, there is perfection. In the chaos, there is beauty and calm.

But we have to find it. And then we have to learn that there is little we can really control. But we are truly the ones we have been waiting for. We are the ones who were sent to care. And even as we see the broken relationships we cannot seem to mend, we keep trying to be the light that shines onward. We keep trying to bring magic to the multitudes. We keep trying to be love and hope, peace and joy no matter what.

Even though I don’t feel motivated to bring either one of the relationships back to where others think they should be, I will continue to leave the lights on for them to maybe come back to a new place of belonging. After all, it is a dawn of a new year. It is the beginning of a new chapter, though the story that I am writing of life is an older one, its first line written one November morning over four decades ago.

We are all at the dawn of a new year, making goals or resolutions as we wish for the darkness to lift and the light to shine. We are wishing that hope will remain hard to kill and that peace will reign. We wish for that sweet joy in life and the love that the whole world needs right now. And while we may never mend all of the broken relationships in our lives, we press on, forging new bonds and memories as we continue to write the stories of our lives.

Stay magical, friends.

Write your own story.

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