When you can’t go on

August, at least for my little swath of the Midwest, has been rough so far.

If you’re an active follower of my blog, you already know that a very dear friend to many in my community suddenly passed away earlier this month. It’s been rough, since she left big shoes to fill. Her funeral was packed with people who she touched along the way, and many messages were sent by those who could not make it. And while there have been some unexpected pieces of magic in the wake of this sadness, it’s also been a very trying time.

A number of other friends in my circle are dealing with their own tragedies. One is in hospice with cancer. Another just lost her father, while a second lost her mother. One is in rehab after a devastating illness. Another just had major back surgery and is dealing with setback after setback. One was just diagnosed with cancer. There are other voiceless struggles as well, and daily problems that just seem to sometimes snowball into catastrophes all their own.

It’s been overwhelming, especially when these tragedies seem to pile on top of one another. Layer upon layer of struggle and tragedy and hurting and pain. It’s a wonder that anyone can even go on. What happens when we can’t go on?

But that’s where sometimes, the magic happens. It’s when you can’t go on that you find someone who can carry some of your burden. It’s when you can’t go on that you find a friend to lean on, a loved one who understands, a perfect stranger who just cares.

“Lean on me / When you’re not strong / And I’ll be your friend / I’ll help you carry on… / For it won’t be long /Till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.”

~ Bill Withers, “Lean on Me”

We’ve all needed that kind of support. It’s the phone call or text that only asks “how are you doing?” It’s the card to say “I’m just thinking about you and hope you’re okay.” It’s the meal prepared and left at the doorstep. It’s the gift card that helps provide the gas to the many medical appointments. It’s the mighty power of a simple hug.

I’ve hugged many people the past week and a half, trying to make sure I know friends, loved ones, and even perfect strangers who need hugs have gotten one. Since I will always regret not giving my dear friend Margo that one last hug on the final Sunday in July when I saw her last, I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone and making sure others get one if they need it.

When we can’t go on, we find those to lean on. When we’re falling apart, they’re there to pick up the pieces. When we just seem like all is lost, they are there reminding us to hope, to love, to have joy, to search for peace. Find your tribe that will support you when it’s been a hard week, a hard month, a hard year. I know I have.

Give up. Let go. Lean on each other. Just keep writing your own story.

And if you need a friend, just call me…. call me…. call me……

Stay magical, friends.

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