Choosing a better, more joyful way

I recently heard a story about a married gay couple who moved into a new neighborhood in a new state following a job acceptance. While getting ready and into their car one night to go to a friend’s house, a car slowed by and slurs and threats were shouted at them, causing some fear. Their first instinct was to call the police, just as they had done when their pride flag had been stolen a couple of weeks before. They wondered if they needed to invest in newer security systems and better ways to protect themselves from the threat of violence. They wondered if they had made a mistake to come to this new town and would have to uproot to keep themselves safe from these unseen perpetrators.

But then, one of them had a different idea.

Over the course of the next few days, he went door-to-door introducing himself to his neighbors and sharing the story of what was happening. Awkward conversations ensued, but people were also outraged over the less-than-welcoming experience the couple received in a town known as “nice”. Many in the neighborhood promised to find ways to make the neighborhood a safer and more welcoming place for everyone instead of a few. Now, that couple is making friends in a neighborhood where for a few weeks, they didn’t quite feel safe and being welcomed in their community. People are reaching out, and despite the awkwardness of the situation at one point, there’s learning being done on all sides on how to bridge gaps instead of widening divides.

That one chose a better way, a way that became more joyful.

We all react to situations in a variety of different ways. Some people have knee-jerk reactions, whereas others are more out-of-the box thinkers. But no matter what kind of a idea seeker we are, we all seek the right answers to questions of life that come our way. We try to do what the world would deem appropriate. We do what we think might be best, even if it’s not the greatest thing.

What if instead of making assumptions about what is right, we learned to be curious about how to be better? What if instead of choosing to be cynical, we learn joy?

I wrote just two months ago that learning abounding joy means to learn to accept our true selves (oh hey, a link to another post!) But choosing a joyful way instead of the way that is absolute right can also lead to joy abounding as well.

It’s being merciful to someone who has wronged you.

It’s learning that everyone matters, from the bigot to the meek, the undocumented to the LGBTQIA+ community, the stranger to the friend. It’s there in the changing of minds and the bridges that gap divides and learn the stories of those who walk another path in life.

It’s making choices now that will not only ripple through the community now, but will continue to write the stories several generations from now.

Joy abounds. Joy springs forth. Joy chooses the way.

I’ve another story for you.

The tiny church I attend in my little swath of the Midwest is the central location for the Norwalk Area Ministerial Association (click here if you want more information on NAMA). During this end time of the year, the giant holiday collection known as the Warrior Giving project is underway.

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A post shared by Kelley Wood Davis (K.S. Wood) (@kelitawd)

The community comes together to help its own, filling every one of the pews in the sanctuary with presents bought because those in need were asked “What do you want for the holidays?” Some are simple requests, like new kitchen towels or toiletries. Others are more specific, like money for rent or groceries and certain brand name clothing items or big ticket games. There’s wants and needs for every budget that wants to help. That’s the way the project is designed.

Some with means might argue that the funds given could be used for vices instead of needs. Others might argue that they weren’t ever given a leg up and learned to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, so why should they help others? Others will balk at the fact that not only are needs asked for but also fanciful wants. But the majority of those in the community come together regardless, reaching out as they can to help make the end of the year holidays a little merrier and magical for others.

They chose a better, more joyful way.

Will some take advantage of this generosity? Probably. It happens. There’s no way to ensure nefariousness might not be used by a minute few. But those truly in need not only remember the joy they were given, but will try to pay it forward when they can. And the effects of this project ripple through the community and will last for many years, reminding those who receive these good gifts that people still care and will continue to care for the poor and down-trodden as well as reminding the gift givers themselves that joy brings the better way for all.

This holiday season, perhaps we all can find a more joyful, better way to live. Imagine the endless possibilities for this world if we did that.

Stay magical, friends.

Write your own story.

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