Walk a mile

I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking about life, the universe, and everything lately. And since this is my forty-second year and that number is the answer to the question nobody knows, I’m in a bit of a quandary.

Douglas Adams’ references always make me giggle. And fair warning, this blog post will be a bit of a ramble, just like his books often are.

But seriously, I have been thinking. With this month almost half over, I have seen a great deal of hate. I have seen a great deal of fear-mongering. I have seen a great deal of finger-pointing and blame and vitriol spewed. it’s hard to read. It’s hard to think there are people out there that can be so filled with so many ideas about their fellow human that they don’t actually see their fellow human.

But then I think about the old adage:

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes”

American adage, author unknown

I’m known to walk miles upon miles, hiking trails and walking the neighborhoods in which I live. I love to walk and think. I’ve also walked with others, trying to talk to them about the universe, life and everything.

And now, I am back to Douglas Adams’ references again.

But seriously, I try to learn what I can about others and connect my own life to theirs as I can. I attempt to understand their stories, not just because I am a writer of fictional tales who needs character motivations, but because I want to get to know people as people. I know I still fall short. I don’t take the time to understand everyone I meet. I avoid some people like the plague. But I try to understand where people are coming from. After all, I believe in this line (so much so that it’s currently the quote on the Facebook cover on my personal page):

“Everyone deserves a chance to walk with everyone else.”

~ Family of the Year “Hero”

What’s important though is we attempt to learn to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. That annoying woman who always comments dumb stuff on your social media page…. Maybe she’s a widow who is lonely. That man spouting hateful things about people in the LGTBQIA community, perhaps he’s never had the chance to actually sit down and talk to someone and understand they aren’t the monsters certain media portray them to be. That woman using food stamps yet seems to have the fancy latest new phone. Maybe she’s just taken in a foster child or a family member bought her the phone as a gift. Judging people without learning their stories just is not the answer.

We often stand up and speak our own messages. Whatever it is, we all have a message written in our hearts that we feel the need to share.

Sometimes the message though that we are trying to share doesn’t filter through. One may hear it and find it full of hope and love. But another may hear it and find it full of condemnation and degradation. The experiences, traumas and even one’s upbringing can color lenses through which people look at life. What we have read can help to aid in our understanding or even prevent us from seeing what others wish for us to see.

“One conversation, a simple moment / The things that change us if we notice / When we look up, sometimes.”

~ Alicia Keys “Underdog”

It’s in learning to walk that mile in someone else’s shoes that will help bridge that gap. It’s learning to look up and see the other point of view instead of just our own. It’s learning to see the person behind the label, the human being instead of the bogeyman, and learning their stories. Perhaps, even weaving our stories into theirs as friends instead of enemies.

But then, perhaps I am dreaming. Perhaps I am hoping for something unachievable. After all, I believe in finding magic in the mundane and writing fairy stories. I can’t walk a mile in everyone shoes. Even I know it. But I can start with just one person. I can start with just one story. I can start with just one little step.

And that there’s the magic.

Write your own story…. but learn the stories of others too.

Stay magical.

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